Social Distancing at the St. Vincent's Prom

 

   A phrase that will stick with us far longer than COVID-19 is social distancing. In simple terms – keep a safe distance from each other.

   That was the same advice given to me by one of the Sisters of Charity at my first prom in 1973.  She had no need to worry.  My prom date was also a blind date.

   Not a single picture survives – at least in my home – but it’s hard to forget the night I took a total stranger to her junior prom.

   Joanne, a counselor friend from summer camp had unexpectedly asked my friend Bill to the St. Vincent’s Academy junior prom in Newark (NJ).  “By the way could you get Tim to come along so my friend can have a date for the prom as well.,” she asked.

   Joanne presented a convincing argument as she explained that dates were hard to get at her all-girls school.  Bill and I agreed, secretly enjoying the fact that any girls were paying attention to us.  Looking back, it might have been helpful to first ask a few questions.

   A pre-prom date was arranged so we met Joanne and her friend Mary at a movie theater to watch the current must-see movie: The Poseidon Adventure.  A disaster movie turned out to be the perfect backdrop.  I am not exaggerating when I offer that Mary said ten words that evening. 

   I knew almost nothing about Mary when I showed up at her home for the prom two weeks later.  While Bill waited in the car outside, I found myself facing her mother, father, grandmother, sister and aunt in the small living room.

   A nice Essex boy was taking their daughter to the prom and everyone had dropped by to take photos.  I hadn’t been warned about this part of the special evening and I posed uncomfortably for photos careful to keep my social distance.

   Dancing was never one of my strong suits so I was pleased that my date preferred not to dance either.  That left plenty of time for conversations that rarely occurred.  Instead we awkwardly watched the dance from the sidelines admiring the Stairway to Heaven themed decorations and listening to the band.  Nuns and chaperones conveniently located around the ballroom ensured that social distancing guidelines were followed.

   Unlike many blind date stories, this one has no surprise ending.  We drove the girls home and pleasant words were exchanged. No promises were made to get together and we never saw the girls again. 

   Bill and I figured that it could have been much worse.  Looking back, I would imagine that Joanne and Mary felt the same way.  It was good dry run for all of us with no unfortunate consequences. 

   Still, I wonder if my photo rests in her mother’s old photo album with the caption “guy who took Mary to the prom and never called again.”  It’s not likely.

 

Grownups Eat Too Slow and Talk Too Much

 Grownups eat slow and they talk too much after dinner!  There’s no reason to put it into the kids’ handbook because every kid has already learned that.

I can’t count how many times my social life, even my reputation, depended on Aunt Helen turning down that second cup of coffee.  I was rooting for “no thanks, we need to get going,” but the response was often “sure, we have time” and I would slink back into my seat.  Eating politely fast didn’t help. It just meant sitting longer and listening to grownup talk – yuk.

Each summer there was a special neighborhood playtime that started after dinner and ended with the young ones heading home at dusk. If your family ate a late dinner, you risked being chosen last for capture the flag or watching form the sidelines.  There was no texting, of course, and calling a friend during dinner was against the grownup rules.  So, it was commonly known that the fun started at about 6:30 with whatever neighborhood kids showed up.

Who showed up and how many often determined what the game of choice would be.  The big kids got to call the shots and the little ones considered themselves lucky to be included – at least until sundown. Girls rarely mixed with the guys during the day but everyone was welcome after dinner.

Running bases was the most popular activity for large groups. The big kids would simply play catch while 15 kids ranging from 7 – 12 years-old would run like fools up and down the street.  It was good practice for any future cricket stars though.

Hide and seek was the other good choice for large groups.  Even though the “rules” stated that no one could leave the front of the houses, the street was a long one and offered many creative hiding places. Inevitably the young ones would become “it” and wander up and down the street yelling “olly, olly in come-free” or the more pure form “olly, olly oxen-free.”  Regardless, kids came bursting out of bushes and from under porches swatting mosquitos that had been munching on them.

Let’s return to the dinner table and Aunt Helen’s second cup of coffee.  The privilege of older age allowed me to ask if I could be excused but there were years when it was clear no one left the table until mom gave the signal.  Aunt Helen was clueless to the harm that second cup of coffee might cause.

Meanwhile, in the distance, kids could be heard playing tag.  The only thing more painful was having your mother show up and call you home early in front of the group for some indiscretion.

Once I was officially an older kid, I realized that the fun began after dark and the early evening games were just an excuse to be excused from the table. There was safety in numbers and five or six teenage guys and gals could have fun just sitting on someone’s porch swatting mosquitos and talking like grownups do.  Go figure.