Hundreds of Allen kids headed off to college
this week. If they are Allen High School graduates, they are well prepared for
the academics. My concern is how they will cope with dormitory (or luxury
apartment) life.
Having successfully completed college myself
in the 1970’s, I feel a responsibility to share my experience with younger
parents and college freshmen.
For example, did you remind your daughter
not to leave cassettes on the dashboard where they will melt? Would your son
remember to pack some extra Hai Karate in case the college bookstore ran out? You can see why I’m worried.
Here are some tips that worked for me and
should help your college bound kids as well.
1.
You
will be sharing a phone with at least three others so write down all of your
calls.
2.
Always
reverse the charges when calling your parents.
3.
Call
your girlfriend or boyfriend after 11 p.m. on Sunday nights for the best rate.
4.
Avoid
embarrassment by turning all of your Carpenters and Abba records backwards so
your friends don’t spot them.
5.
Leave
James Taylor and Cat Stevens records around your dorm room when girls visit.
They like sensitive stuff like that.
6.
Playing
Dark Side of the Moon at 45 rpm will pick up any dorm party.
7.
Milk
crates make excellent record racks and coffee tables.
8.
Make
sure your bell bottoms are properly frayed before leaving for college. Cigarette ashes rubbed into the legs also
give them a weathered look.
9.
Bring
extra batteries for your transistor radio.
10.
Aluminum
foil balls on the rabbit ears will expand your television reception.
11.
Never
buy a used Chevy Vega – even if it looks like a really good deal.
12.
It
is better to weigh down your turntable arm with dimes instead of quarters to
get a clearer sound.
13.
Never
stack more than three albums or they will start to slide.
14.
Electrical
tape is expensive. Masking tape makes a good
substitute on stereo cables.
15.
Use
the Herbal Essence Shampoo I gave you – girls dig it.
16.
Leave
the galoshes home. Bring Totes instead.
17.
Pumas…not
Adidas…
18.
Keep
your Navy peacoat dry – it smells when it gets wet.
19.
When
attending campus demonstrations, carry a dime to make a phone call if you get
arrested.
20.
You
might rethink the Nixon/Agnew sticker on your bumper.
21.
Platform
shoes are for high school proms, not college. Earth shoes are a much more
practical solution.
22.
A
summer job paying $1.75 an hour should be enough to pay for two semesters of
college.
23.
Make
sure you gas up on your odd or even day before driving back home.
24.
Beer
cans and wine bottles make lousy decorations no matter what your friends say.
25.
Remember
– there is more to life than Pong. Don’t let the video game disrupt your
studies.
