We Miss You Burnt Umber

Somewhere in this country are a row of massive warehouses that are color coded. They are the seasonal warehouses that store all of the stuff that miraculously appears in stores each season and then disappears for a year.  The bright green warehouse is full of the nation’s St. Patrick’s Day promotional items such as leprechaun hats and inflatable beer steins.  The orange one, of course, stores all of the needed Halloween costumes and candy corn. Then there’s the pink one full of unsold Valentine’s Day candy and the green Christmas warehouse full of – well – Christmas stuff.

   This thought came to me as I wandered through the back to school aisle at our local Target.  “Where did all of this come from?” I thought. Last week there were beach balls and sunscreen. Now the aroma of crayons can be detected four rows away.

   I suppose they come from the school bus yellow warehouse that hold school supplies for millions of students.

  The ongoing pandemic has thrown a curve to parents and children alike, but school is now in session (in the kitchen or the classroom) and some fresh supplies can start the year with a positive attitude.

   I know it always helped me forget about the nee d of the summer. I don’t recall school supply shopping being such an event when I was a little rascal but I sure remember new school supplies.

  The big ticket item for me was always the book bag.  The name has long been replaced by backpack but there was a time when students looked as though they were heading to a bowling alley instead of a mountain hike.  Little kids carried handled vinyl bags with Fred Flintstone or Barbie while high school bag were two-tone with the school logo and colors on the side.

   Maybe what made school supplies so exciting was how good they looked compared to last year’s supplies.  Erasers and glue were not attractive by the end of school.  We had used or eaten most of the non-toxic paste and the Elmer’s Glue was permanently sealed at the nozzle. Stick erasers were either broken in half or covered with a slick coating of dirt and grease from the bottom of the book bag.

   The yellow #2 Ticonderga pencil and clear Bic pens were standard issue on the 1960’s supply list.  Marble composition notebooks, stacks of 3-ring binder paper and theme tablets also topped the list.

   One special pen that we all received in grammar school supposedly taught us “The Palmer Method” of handwriting.  The long slender pen was also perfect for gnawing on as we practiced rounding out our cursive letters. I am sure that my handwriting would be more graceful if I hadn’t chewed my pens down to the refill each year.

   The king of all school supplies was the new box of Crayola Crayons. Whether it was a set of eight or 64 (sharpener included), the yellow and green box of perfectly formed crayons meant school was about to start.  By the school year’s end, they were banished to the teacher’s crayon bucket of lost (crayon) souls.

   Many school supply items have changed through the years but a crayon is still a crayon.   No matter what color they are, crayons have a distinctive feel and smell that can instantly transport adults back to their childhood.

   According to Crayola’s official history, Edwin Binney and Harold Smith invented crayons in 1903.  The line was expanded from 8 to 48 colors in the 1940’s and again to 64 colors in 1958.  Along the way colors such as Prussian Blue, Indian Red and Flesh were dropped. Others like Orange-Red, Blue-Grey and Burnt Umber were “retired” and added to the Crayola Hall of Fame – seriously.  

   There is a sense of optimism and hope when you crack open those school supplies in August. You might sharpen your favorite pencil and imagine the blank notebook page as a metaphor for the new school year. Then again maybe it’s just writer’s block.

   Either way, have a great school year kids and remember - don’t chew your pens.

Santa's Secret

 

   How old were you when the mystery of Santa Claus unraveled?  Every person who celebrates Christmas and remembers magical visits from Santa has a story about that day.

   Some learned the truth from older siblings or classmates who couldn’t keep the secret any longer. Others became junior detectives and solved the mystery on their own. Then there were the parents who just sat the kids down and laid it out for them.

   My moment of discovery involved a pink Tonka Safari Jeep that I spotted in a catalogue. Years later I read that the Tonka Jeep was a reproduction of one Elvis Presley drove in the 1962 movie Blue Hawaii.  My musical tastes at the age of six were not so refined that I wanted the “Elvis Jeep.”  I just thought the fringe around the roof was cool.

   So the Jeep was added to Santa’s list.  Shortly before Christmas I found the Jeep along with other new toys stashed in the basement under an old tarp. Confronted with the evidence, my mother simply explained it to me. It would be dramatic to say I broke into tears but it wasn’t that big of a deal. The truth is that I probably learned to appreciate my parent’s generosity and love for the first time.  I don’t know if she was relieved or disappointed but Christmas that year was wonderful and still full of surprises – even with the Elvis Jeep.

   Many years later, with children of our own, my wife and I happily played Santa but keeping the myth alive sometimes required some creativity.  The last year that Santa officially visited I found myself driving early on Christmas morning to Blockbuster. To save money, I had rented several games for the new PlayStation game system that sat under the tree. To avoid the obvious question about how I knew Santa would bring such a marvelous toy, I chose to drive a few laps around the block and return from Blockbuster with the games.  My son never asked the second most obvious question about why the video rental store was open at 8 a.m. on Christmas. Later the same day the mystery was unraveled at our dinner table with both kids. They were just too old and too smart to be misdirected anymore.  

   Even after learning the big secret, most kids happily play along.  In a way it’s their first connection to the adults around them. They enjoy a sense of pride in knowing something others do not and most work hard to let the younger ones enjoy Santa Claus. Instead of ruining Christmas, the truth can actually help children appreciate why there is a Santa at all.

   The story of Santa Claus began almost 1,700 years ago with St. Nicholas, a bishop in the early Christian church.  Legend says he anonymously helped a poor nobleman who needed a dowry for his three daughters. He left bags of gold simply for the joy of giving and not the recognition.  Word eventually got out that St. Nicholas was the donor and many charitable gifts were attributed to him during his life. The story of one selfless person carried on through Christian communities for hundreds of years. It was in the late 1800’s that the character of St. Nicholas became the more commercial image of Santa Claus.

The story of Christmas is first and foremost the story of Jesus’ birth.  For millions of children, it is also the story of Jolly St. Nick.

The idea of giving to others simply for the joy of it

Strip away the advertising inserts and endless hours or holiday music and Christmas the idea of giving simply for the joy of it underlies the best part of this season and that is the true meaning of Christmas.

Monsters Aren't What They Used To Be

 

While flipping cable channels recently, I came across two movies that caused me to pause. 

   The first was a 1954 “creature feature” appropriately called Creature from the Black Lagoon.  The movie is a classic among monster movie fans and ranks up there with Dracula, Frankenstein and The Mummy. The movie’s plot involves a scientific expedition in the Amazon looking to capture the mysterious Gill Man. 

   The other movie was called Bloodrayne: The Third Reich; a confusing and tasteless movie from 2012.  The plot included good and bad vampires and evil Germans trying to create a Nazi vampire army that would be unstoppable (at least after 5 p.m.). You may have missed this one in the theaters.

   My conclusion is that monster movies aren’t what they used to be.  The Creature isn’t really a bad guy or fish.  He’s just misunderstood and hopelessly in love with the expedition leader’s fiancé.  On the other hand, no one in is likable in the Nazi vampire movie. There will be no action figures or Burger King cups spinning off from this gem.

   There was a time when monsters ruled the movies and collectible market.  Kids in the fifties watched monster movies in drive-ins while kids in the sixties enjoyed monster movie reruns on late night  television.  In the days before video rentals, they also bought monster books, comic books and action figures.  My friends and I traded monster cards like baseball cards and built plastic models of our favorite monsters.

  Lunchroom debates in my fifth grade might question the strength of Frankenstein versus the psychic power of Dracula.  The only thing we all agreed on was that The Mummy was the lamest monster because he didn’t have any cool powers.

   There was no such thing as on-demand or DVR’s in the 1960’s so monster fans had to just wait for the classics to pop up on TV.  Shows such as Chiller Theater and Creature Feature featured the best and the worst monster and sci-fi movies each week.  The show’s popular hosts like Zacherley (NYC), Svengoolie (Chicago) and Vampira (LA) were sometimes more entertaining than the old black and white movies. 

   Television programmers embraced the monster craze in the mid 60’s with the Addam’s Family and its network competitor, The Munsters.  Both shows celebrated their 50^th birthday last year and reignited the debate of which show was better.  In the day, kids showed their loyalty with their tin Herman Munster or Lurch thermoses and lunchboxes. 

   Halloween, of course, was the peak of monster mania each year.  In the days before Freddy Krueger and that psychopath with the hockey mask, Dracula and Frankenstein costumes ruled the five and dime store racks.

  While the black and white classics haven’t made a comeback, monster and horror movies are big business.  Zombies and vampires are as popular as Wolfman and The Creature ever were.  I guess folks still enjoy a good scare. 

   As for the Nazi vampire army, there was a time when the forces of vampires and Nazis came together to fight the U.S. Army.  It was 1964 in my friend’s basement .  We had staged a major battle with WWII army men but came up short for the bad guys. The Nazis recruited both Dracula and Wolfman and some cowboys and Indians to take on Patton’s Seventh Army.  The results were predictable but Dracula lived to fight another day.

Chatting With the Mayor of Hobbytown

 

   There were at least four places within walking distance of my house that could eat up my allowance.  There was Jack’s Deli, Friendly’s Ice Cream, Mario’s Pizzeria and the Brookdale Hobby Shop.   If there was a way to keep track, I could guarantee that the hobby shop took most of my early savings.

 The Brookdale Hobby Shop or Larry’s as we called it (after the owner) was a goldmine of diversions, especially in the days before video games.  Larry’s had Matchbox cars, slot cars, model cars and all the necessary accessories to keep us coming back.  Even if we dropped fifty cents on a few candy bars at Jack’s, there was still enough change to buy a Rat Fink decal or STP sticker at Larry’s. 

   Larry’s was mostly a bike shop and the smell of fresh rubber tires filled the store but it was the hobby “stuff” that kept us coming back.  That is why I was so anxious to introduce hobbies to my son when he was younger.  We built models on rainy days, constructed slot car raceways on long weekends and often enjoyed a trip to a place called HobbyTown USA to buy the “necessary accessories.”

   The “mayor” of HobbyTown these days is Pete Zellmer, who bought the franchise eight years ago and later moved it to its current location on Central Expressway in Plano. 

   The aisle of trains and wall of models says that HobbyTown is still a place for hobbyists but the interest of customers has been moving away from traditional hobbies says Zelmer.

   “The biggest change I’ve seen in our business is the movement away from project oriented activities. Spending an afternoon (or a week) setting up a model train set is a commitment and is just not as satisfying for kids as it once was.”

   The store still sees a steady business with older hobbyists who build models or run trains as they did as kids.  As that population grows older though, Zellmer sees the sales and shelf space for trains and models dropping off.

   In their place he sees more emphasis on activities that offer instant gratification such as remote controlled cars and helicopters.  Even that has changed as parents and kids prefer to purchase “ready to run” r/c cars instead of building them from kits.

   Still, Zellmer finds many parents and kids who come into the store looking for something engaging that gets kids off the TV and video games.  Science themed activities are among the more popular items he recommends to parents.  Telescopes, science discovery kits and robotics projects are all big sellers.

   It seems logical that a child’s connection today to a WWII airplane just isn’t the same as it was forty years ago but model building in some areas is on the rise.  “Science fiction and fantasy models based on Star Trek or anime’ characters, for example, are selling well,” explains Zellmer.

   Regardless of the activity, the mayor of Hobbytown hopes that parents continue to encourage their children to pursue hobbies, to learn patience and satisfaction for completing a difficult task – even if there is a little glue on the windshield.

Looking To Settle Down Somewhere

    My wife and I used to imagine where we would like to settle down.  Starting with a move from Glassboro, (NJ) to Muncie, (IN), we moved five more times in six years. We bought our first house in Granger (IN) but knew it wouldn’t be our permanent home. 

   We were looking for someplace more “interesting” that had mountains or water or maybe both.  With that in mind, we moved our young family to Allen, Texas.  It was lacking in waterfront lots or mountain views but it also lacked in ice and freezing temperatures – most of the time.

   Twenty years later, Allen is clearly our home but the question of where to settle down still lingers. A better question might be “have we settled down?”  That question is still on the table but we got a good taste of some interesting places this summer with trips to both coasts. 

   Hoping to officially decide if we had settled down, I decided to compare Allen to New York City and Seattle. 

   Thanks to the Zillow phone app, we quickly learned that you pay a price for “interesting” on both coasts.  A new high rise in Manhattan called One57 is selling its basic condos for $16 million each.  The penthouse sold for $100 million.  For the regular folks, the median price of a condo in NYC is currently $1.7 million. The median home price in Seattle in June was $504,000 compared to $242,000 for Allen. (Allen +1)

   There are approximately 1,600 pizza restaurants (pizzerias to the locals) in New York City.  If there are  restaurants in Seattle, they are probably located behind coffee shops.  Seattle claims 2.5 coffee shops for every thousand restaurants.  That figures up to 1,600 coffee shops.  Allen’s restaurant count is about 200. (NYC +1)

  Most would agree that scenic views on the prairie are probably not Allen’s best selling point. NYC high rises offer great views at night but the daytime views of New Jersey or Queens can’t compare to Seattle’s views of water, islands and Mount Ranier.  (Seattle +1)

   The down side of islands and water views are bridges and tunnels. Therefore, commuter  traffic is predictably bad in NYC and surprisingly worse in Seattle.   My morning commute in Allen is 1 mile and requires no tolls.  (Allen +1)

   New York City has Broadway, Seattle has grunge music and Allen is still searching for its musical identity. (NYC +1)

   Seattle wins for romantic weekend getaways but New England is a close second.  Pontooning on Texoma just doesn’t have the same romantic charm although some might argue that point.(Seattle +1)

   One final category would be sports bragging rights.  Seattle earned bragging rights for the 2014 Super Bowl but lost some cache with this past year’s super loss.  For all of its sports history, New York City has been quiet in the past ten years with two Super Bowl wins but no hockey, baseball or basketball titles. Allen on the other hand has seen its football team win three consecutive state titles and four in the past seven years. Our Allen Americans also claimed three consecutive hockey titles.  (Allen +1)

   For the moment, Allen is leading for places to settle down…and that’s not such a bad thing

Learning To Let Go

 

I once had an education professor ask how many students could juggle three balls. No one raised their hand.  “Good,” he said. “I want everyone to teach themselves how to juggle within the next two weeks and you will then be graded on how well you juggle in front of the class.

There were no further instructions… just teach yourself to juggle.  It was not an easy assignment and the thought of flubbing the task in front of a class just added to the pressure.  The outcome was predictable as only a few students did something that resembled juggling. 

The purpose of the lesson was to demonstrate how hard it can be to learn a skill without proper instruction and practice. Then add the pressure of a grade and performing in front of others and failure becomes an option. As we were learning to become teachers, the point was to show that something we take for granted, like reading, can be as intimidating to a child as juggling was to us. 

Years later, I found myself remembering that lesson as I tried to teach my son how to ride a two wheel bicycle. I popped off the training wheels and started guiding him and the bicycle across the parking lot at a slow running pace.  I let go and he fell.  We turned around and ran back the other way.  I let go and he fell.

I remember nothing about learning to ride a bicycle myself except my father running up and down the city street alongside me. There was no instruction book or worksheet; just pedal, try not to fall over and aim straight down the middle.  That last goal was important as the street was lined with cars (and many of those still had fins in the early sixties).

My first teaching attempts involved pushing my son across a parking lot and letting go as he ran off into the grass and eventually crashed.  After several more crashes, he wisely pointed out that “this isn’t working dad and it’s not much fun.”

Thanks to the Internet, parents can now access advice and even videos on teaching their children to ride a bike.  One advice column warns parents against a strategy that I found very effective.

If you use the hold-the-back-of-the-seat or run-beside-the-bike method, don't trick your child by claiming you're holding on when you are not.  If the child crashes, you erode trust, which erodes confidence. 

On our next outing I reversed the process and pushed him down a grass hill onto the pavement. It was an improvement as long as I could keep up with the bicycle and catch him when it slowed down.  Then, it happened.  He was too anxious to look back and I was too tired to keep up so I just let go without telling him.  He crossed the playground, made a shaky turn and rode back to the cheers of his parents.

There are classes to teach your child how to hit a baseball, play piano and even drive a car but parents are still on their own for bicycle lessons.  At least that’s what I thought until I came across an article about Pedalheads.  The Vancouver (BC) company promises to teach a child to ride a bike within 5 days and parents are off the hook for the bumps and bruises. I’m sure they have a good system and I imagine parents won’t risk eroding their child’s trust. 

For me though, nothing can replace sharing the excitement of that first hands free ride with my son.

It Came, It Thawed, It Conquered

   I went out for dinner three nights in a row last week.  Even for me, it was excessive.  I could make excuses about how busy we were but the truth is that eating out is too convenient.

   I certainly did not acquire the habit from my parents.  Our family “went out” for dinner after funerals and sometimes on holidays.  Fancy eating for the Carroll’s was the Wedgewood Cafeteria in Montclair, New Jersey.  It must have been fancy because the chef wore a big hat as he cut off slabs of prime rib. In reality, the Wedgewood was probably closer to a Luby’s with linen tablecloths. 

   That doesn’t mean that mom cooked every night.  My father made the pizza and late edition newspaper run on most Friday nights. The big treat for us came when mom sent one of us to the store for that 1960’s gem – Swanson’s TV Dinners.  The standard order was two turkey and two fried chicken frozen dinners although my father occasionally broke tradition with the Swiss steak dinner.

   Forty minutes later (no microwaves yet), the Carroll’s were watching family television while eating scalding hot dinners on metal TV tables.

   The history of the TV dinner can be traced back to a trainload of 270 tons of leftover turkey. Swanson and Sons had undersold their Thanksgiving orders and were left with ten refrigerated cars full of turkey. The trains literally crossed back and forth across the US to keep the refrigeration units working.

   Gerald Thomas, a Swanson executive, spotted the trays used for airline food service and created the famous three-part metal tray with frozen food in 1954.  The first TV dinners (turkey of course) sold for 98 cents.  Swanson took a risk and produced 5,000 dinners. They ended up selling 25 million in the first year thanks to the clever tie-in with the most popular appliance in America – the television. Fried chicken was added in 1955 followed by Swiss steak, Mexican themed meals, macaroni and cheese and more.  Mean Joe Greene introduced the Hungry Man Meal in 1973 and the first microwave meals appeared in 1986.

   I recently conducted a slightly scientific survey of about 60 Rotary members showed that about half never ate TV dinners as a kid.  Those that did preferred the macaroni and cheese dinner with turkey placing a close second.  Swanson’s Web site states that turkey is still the most popular meal with fried chicken in second place. 

  Three Rotary members remembered watching Bonanza over a TV dinner many times and one presumably younger member tied TV dinners to the Mork and Mindy show.

   Like many childhood memories, my enjoyment of TV dinners should remain frozen in time.  My steady diet of Banquet pot pies in college effectively killed my love for frozen foods.

   While she may be mentioned in the company history, I do believe my mother had a hand in planning the meals. I couldn’t hide the vegetables because they rested in their own neat compartment.  The desserts remained scalding for about 20 minutes so you couldn’t eat them first and everything was soaked in butter; just like mom’s pre-cholesterol cooking.  As a final salute to mom, there were no dishes. 

   Take a frozen trip down memory lane by visiting www.swansonmeals.com.