Your First Was Probably Your Worst (Car)

Snap, crackle, pop is a good sound to hear from your bowl of cereal but it’s not so good when your car says it.

I was turning our 1969 Dodge Dart through the intersection when I heard the snap. I continued forward as this crackling or tearing sound came from under the hood. That was quickly followed by a loud pop. The front wheel had snapped off. Technically the rocker arm had rusted and detached from the frame but the end result was the same.

The fire engine red Dart had come to our family through marriage. I brought a beat up 1957 Chevy to the altar and my wife Ann contributed the Dart. Both were our first cars and had nostalgic value despite their mechanical flaws – and there were many mechanical flaws. Neither one, however, would be considered the worst car we ever owned.

That honor belongs to the 1972 Volkswagen 411 that is parked behind the crippled Dart in the photo. The car had several cool features but the gasoline heater was not one of them. Located under the back seat, the heater would burn gasoline and then convert it to heat. Unfortunately it caught fire on a regular basis which required the panicked driver to pull over, flip the rear seat and put out the fire. It gave new meaning to the term hot seat.

The Foundation for Allen Schools recently held a classic car show at the Village of Allen. The event mostly involves people standing around and staring at each other’s cars and talking about car stuff. I took advantage of the captive audience and asked folks to describe the worst car they ever owned. I then posted the same question on Facebook to some friends. Their nominations sound like a who’s who of bad engineering and taste.

“My worst was a 1975 Pinto Wagon. It was mostly Bondo and had 156,000+ miles on it. It ran for 10 minutes after you turned the key off.” – Rich Hardt, Riverton, WY.

“The worst car was my first car. It was a 1952 Dodge Wayfarer that I bought in 1975 for $75. I knew nothing about this at the time, but in 1952 Dodge had what it called a "gyromatic transmission." It had a clutch, but you didn't have to use it. Whenever I would stop, then step on the gas, it would lunge forward in a jerky motion. It was shaped like a football so at least it looked cool.” – Mark Sceurman – Bloomfield,

“My worst car was also my first. It was a 1960 VW bug. It had no A/C, no heat, no radio, no gas gauge, and only 3 of the 4 cylinders worked reliably. It cost me $200 and I was thrilled to have it.” – Barry Lanier, Allen, TX.

“I had a 63 Dodge Dart that ran on quarts (of oil) per mile. It was my first car and I was happy just to have one.” – Dave Barnes, Allen, TX.

“My 1978 Toyota Corolla had an 1,100 cc engine. It was so weak that I had to turn off the AC to climb hills – in Texas!” – Robert Weaver, Allen, TX.

“My worst was my first, and I loved it - a used Renault R8 ($450 in 1975) with a rear engine and front trunk that opened from the windshield end. The manual gearbox was set up for a driver seated on the right hand side of the car, the carburetor frequently got stuck and had to be adjusted by hand and I can't think of how many times I started the car by pushing and popping the clutch.” - Patrice Keegan, Boston, MA.

“The worst for me was an 83 Chevy Citation. It was impossible to drive, had almost no clutch and no power.” – Rod Griffin, Allen, TX.

“I thought my 1981 Renault Fuego looked cool but it was a bad car – a really bad car.” – Keith Taylor, Allen, TX.

Mark Wynn of Princeton said it best when he admitted that “The best thing that ever happened to me was that someone stole my 1973 Chevy Vega. The worst thing that ever happened was that the police found my 73 Vega.”