Dear Flip – I haven’t started my shopping yet and it’s Christmas Eve. You seem to have experience in last minute shopping. What would you suggest I buy for my family? Since time is short, I suggest you head to a large department store and only buy items that come pre-wrapped in a holiday box. For dad, try the 18-hole desktop executive golf course. Consider the perfume dispenser for mom and the Mp3 slippers for your sister. Good luck. Dear Flip – We want to bring a gift for our friends tonight but hesitate because we don’t want to embarrass them if they didn’t get a gift for us. What should we do? Make the first move. Present the gifts to them at the door. This courteously gives the host time to wrap someone else’s gift or drive to CVS before they close.
Dear Flip – We have a tradition of opening one gift on Christmas Eve after church. Last year my little brother got to open a cool gift while I opened a sweater? Try this. Each family member can open one package or “steal” one that’s already been opened. This should lead to some quality family time.
Dear Mr. Side – I will get home from college at about 7 p.m. tonight. My old high school friends are having a really cool party tonight as well. How long do I need to stay at my parent’s house before I can leave for the party? There is a formula for calculating PQT (parent quality time). Take the number of weeks it has been since you were last home and multiply times five to get the proper number of minutes. For example, if you saw them at Thanksgiving, you need to make small talk for at least 20 minutes. Showers don’t qualify as parent quality time.
Dear Flip – My kids want Santa to bring them a laptop and a Wii and a bike. Santa is magical they say so he should be able to bring anything they ask for. Unfortunately my bank account is not magical. Any advice would be helpful. It’s about time you got some credit here. Tell them that mommy and daddy send money to Santa on April 15 every year. Based on how big that check is, Santa decides what he can bring. Show them the cancelled check from last year and explain that IRS stands for I (love) Rudolph & Santa.
Dear Flip – My brother and his wife are great people but they are lousy cooks. It’s our turn to go to their home for Christmas and we dread it. What would you do? Instead of the traditional hostess gift, bring a round roast with mashed potatoes and some mixed vegetables. Explain that you are both are on a strict diet.
Dr. Tim – I will cook for hours tomorrow while my family watches football all day. They will then devour the meal in 15 minutes and return to the TV room. Is there anything I can do? I would start with a 7 course meal that takes an hour to serve. Then I would set all of the DVR’s in the house to record the Little House On The Prairie holiday marathon.
Dear Flip – My sister is still angry that I melted her David Cassidy 45 rpm record in my EZ Bake Oven on Christmas almost forty years ago. Isn’t it time she let it go? You have one chance to put this conflict to rest. David Cassidy is appearing at the Nokia Theater on February 6 with Davey Jones of the Monkees. Go to the concert and buy a new 45 record for her at the souvenir stand.
Merry Christmas to our readers. You can find old Flipside columns at http://flipsidecolumn.blogspot.com. Send column suggestions and comments to flipside@tx.rr.com.
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