The first Flipside Column appeared in this newspaper on March 30, 2007. My journalistic aspirations go back much further though. The first column I ever wrote appeared in the January 1970 issue of the Troop 22 Tooter. The Tooter was a publication that I wrote and published for Boy Scout Troop 22 in Bloomfield, New Jersey. Once a month I would pound the typewriter keys into the wax stencil and print the latest troop news.
Each issue featured breaking news, merit badge tips, a scoutmaster’s corner and an editorial. Flipside readers are probably not surprised that I have a stack of Troop 22 Tooters stashed away in my filing cabinet next to The Camp Crier and Cold Turkey but I am getting ahead of myself. Alongside the Klondike Derby results and merit badge tips (“Home Repairs has only one requirement: need I say more.”) was my first column called Get It Together Guys. In the column I implored my fellow scouts to be prepared. “If a patrol leader fails to plan correctly for the canoe trip, the whole patrol goes hungry.” Frankly, I am surprised they didn’t publish that nugget of wisdom in the next edition of the Boy Scout Handbook. During the summer of 1972 I served as publisher and editor of The Camp Crier, the voice of Camp Christ The King in Blairstown, NJ. The mimeographed staff newsletter featured the lyrics of camp favorites like On Top of Spaghetti and jokes like this winner: “What did the hippie paper say to the pen? Write-on!” Captivated readers also learned that Cabin 8 was first in line for breakfast for the first time this summer and Sister Christine took two campers and a counselor to the Newton Hospital this week. My column in the one surviving issue of The Camp Crier offers tips for fighting off mosquitos which was a relevant topic in the Jersey woods. The third newspaper I was responsible for never bore my name. It was an underground newspaper called Cold Turkey that was distributed in 1974 among the young men of Essex Catholic High School in Newark, NJ. Cold Turkey was more of a silly satire piece than a newspaper. Instead of preaching anarchy or revolution, it offered record reviews, fake letters to the editor and weird school news. Freshmen were bribed with a free lunch to pass each issue out in the halls. “Dear Cold Turkey,” says one letter. “I am offended by your suggestion that Led Zeppelin IV is the best album ever. What about the new Osmond’s single or the greatest rocker ever, David Cassidy? – Signed Brother Dagwood, Principal.” My column in the spring of 1974 focused on the closing of our senior smoking section. It seems unbelievable by today’s standards but Essex seniors could smoke cigarettes in one section of the school cafeteria. The administration finally saw the error in that policy and moved the senior smoking section to the student parking lot. Journalists around the globe have been jailed for reporting the truth. My friend Jim and I received a few days of detention for reporting absolutely nothing important – a small price to pay for journalistic freedom. Thirty-seven years and hundreds of columns later, I am not sure if the quality of my columns has improved much but at least I can sign them with my real name.
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