Monsters Aren't What They Used To Be

 

While flipping cable channels recently, I came across two movies that caused me to pause. 

   The first was a 1954 “creature feature” appropriately called Creature from the Black Lagoon.  The movie is a classic among monster movie fans and ranks up there with Dracula, Frankenstein and The Mummy. The movie’s plot involves a scientific expedition in the Amazon looking to capture the mysterious Gill Man. 

   The other movie was called Bloodrayne: The Third Reich; a confusing and tasteless movie from 2012.  The plot included good and bad vampires and evil Germans trying to create a Nazi vampire army that would be unstoppable (at least after 5 p.m.). You may have missed this one in the theaters.

   My conclusion is that monster movies aren’t what they used to be.  The Creature isn’t really a bad guy or fish.  He’s just misunderstood and hopelessly in love with the expedition leader’s fiancé.  On the other hand, no one in is likable in the Nazi vampire movie. There will be no action figures or Burger King cups spinning off from this gem.

   There was a time when monsters ruled the movies and collectible market.  Kids in the fifties watched monster movies in drive-ins while kids in the sixties enjoyed monster movie reruns on late night  television.  In the days before video rentals, they also bought monster books, comic books and action figures.  My friends and I traded monster cards like baseball cards and built plastic models of our favorite monsters.

  Lunchroom debates in my fifth grade might question the strength of Frankenstein versus the psychic power of Dracula.  The only thing we all agreed on was that The Mummy was the lamest monster because he didn’t have any cool powers.

   There was no such thing as on-demand or DVR’s in the 1960’s so monster fans had to just wait for the classics to pop up on TV.  Shows such as Chiller Theater and Creature Feature featured the best and the worst monster and sci-fi movies each week.  The show’s popular hosts like Zacherley (NYC), Svengoolie (Chicago) and Vampira (LA) were sometimes more entertaining than the old black and white movies. 

   Television programmers embraced the monster craze in the mid 60’s with the Addam’s Family and its network competitor, The Munsters.  Both shows celebrated their 50^th birthday last year and reignited the debate of which show was better.  In the day, kids showed their loyalty with their tin Herman Munster or Lurch thermoses and lunchboxes. 

   Halloween, of course, was the peak of monster mania each year.  In the days before Freddy Krueger and that psychopath with the hockey mask, Dracula and Frankenstein costumes ruled the five and dime store racks.

  While the black and white classics haven’t made a comeback, monster and horror movies are big business.  Zombies and vampires are as popular as Wolfman and The Creature ever were.  I guess folks still enjoy a good scare. 

   As for the Nazi vampire army, there was a time when the forces of vampires and Nazis came together to fight the U.S. Army.  It was 1964 in my friend’s basement .  We had staged a major battle with WWII army men but came up short for the bad guys. The Nazis recruited both Dracula and Wolfman and some cowboys and Indians to take on Patton’s Seventh Army.  The results were predictable but Dracula lived to fight another day.