Last Minute College Advice

 

Hundreds of Allen kids headed off to college this week. If they are Allen High School graduates, they are well prepared for the academics. My concern is how they will cope with dormitory (or luxury apartment) life.

   Having successfully completed college myself in the 1970’s, I feel a responsibility to share my experience with younger parents and college freshmen.

   For example, did you remind your daughter not to leave cassettes on the dashboard where they will melt? Would your son remember to pack some extra Hai Karate in case the college bookstore ran out?  You can see why I’m worried.

   Here are some tips that worked for me and should help your college bound kids as well.

1.    You will be sharing a phone with at least three others so write down all of your calls.

2.    Always reverse the charges when calling your parents.

3.    Call your girlfriend or boyfriend after 11 p.m. on Sunday nights for the best rate.

4.    Avoid embarrassment by turning all of your Carpenters and Abba records backwards so your friends don’t spot them.

5.    Leave James Taylor and Cat Stevens records around your dorm room when girls visit. They like sensitive stuff like that.

6.    Playing Dark Side of the Moon at 45 rpm will pick up any dorm party.

7.    Milk crates make excellent record racks and coffee tables.

8.    Make sure your bell bottoms are properly frayed before leaving for college.  Cigarette ashes rubbed into the legs also give them a weathered look.

9.    Bring extra batteries for your transistor radio.

10.  Aluminum foil balls on the rabbit ears will expand your television reception.

11.  Never buy a used Chevy Vega – even if it looks like a really good deal.

12.  It is better to weigh down your turntable arm with dimes instead of quarters to get a clearer sound.

13.  Never stack more than three albums or they will start to slide.

14.  Electrical tape is expensive.  Masking tape makes a good substitute on stereo cables.

15.  Use the Herbal Essence Shampoo I gave you – girls dig it.

16.  Leave the galoshes home.  Bring Totes instead.

17.  Pumas…not Adidas…

18.  Keep your Navy peacoat dry – it smells when it gets wet.

19.  When attending campus demonstrations, carry a dime to make a phone call if you get arrested.

20.  You might rethink the Nixon/Agnew sticker on your bumper.

21.  Platform shoes are for high school proms, not college. Earth shoes are a much more practical solution.

22.  A summer job paying $1.75 an hour should be enough to pay for two semesters of college.

23.  Make sure you gas up on your odd or even day before driving back home.

24.  Beer cans and wine bottles make lousy decorations no matter what your friends say.

25.  Remember – there is more to life than Pong. Don’t let the video game disrupt your studies.