Keeping A Straight Face At The Poker Palace

Very few games or toys from our childhood still capture our attention like a simple deck of cards.

Risk is way too much trouble and Sorry is sorry. When our kids were small we enjoyed family time and reliving our own childhood through games like Life and Parcheesi but I don’t miss them. I think I was happiest though when both of my kids learned to play cards.

My card playing experience goes back to first grade when my mother taught me to play Canasta – her favorite game. A few years later my father taught me his favorite game - Cribbage. By the time I reached high school I had found my favorite game – poker.

Weekend poker nights were a regular high school event in the 70’s for two reasons – we didn’t have video games and we didn’t have girlfriends. The next best thing was playing poker for hours while consuming large quantities of junk food.

Six or more guys would head upstairs to our attic (it’s a northern thing) carrying bags of chips and quarts of soda. Hours later, after redistributing our wealth, we would trudge three floors down trying not to wake my father who was often asleep in front of the television.

Poker was a very democratic activity in The Poker Palace, an elegant name given to my attic. Dealer’s choice was the rule which meant that the person dealing got to pick the game and the rules.

Traditionalists would call a game of 5-card stud with nothing wild. Others might go for an extended version of 7-card stud with deuces, jokers and one eyed jacks wild.

Pride was more important than losing a little money. Therefore people learned to play the various card games for a price and never asked questions. Of course some games were more expensive than others.

Nickel ante poker games such as Baseball and 7-card no peek forced players to keep paying to play long before they knew what cards they were holding.

Some games only involved three cards. One called 3-card Monte forced players to bet on a small hand with one wild card. The most dangerous game of the evening was called guts. Players held the cards above the table and when the dealer counted 1-2-3 guts, players either dropped the cards or held them. Everyone still holding cards had to match all of the money in the pool except for the winner. By far it was the most expensive and gutsy game of the night.

There was great satisfaction in winning at the Poker Palace but the financial rewards were slim. A lucky night might earn the winner 400 nickels but that’s only $20.

The stakes were much higher when I visited a real poker palace in Las Vegas many years later. I played two hands and walked away $20 lighter. I would rather lose 400 nickels in 3 hours than lose them in 3 minutes.

If I’ve tickled that urge in you to play poker, then head out tonight (Nov. 11) for the Allen Arts Alliance Casino Night. The Casino Night is part of the weekend activities surrounding the Tom Thumb Texas Stampede at the Allen Event Center.

For more information about the western style Casino Night or to order tickets call 972-727-7272 or visit www.texasstampede.org/events.

Rodeo Ready To Stampede Into Allen

It certainly was a pleasant surprise last week when I passed through Allen Station Park and came upon a herd of Texas longhorn.

Only two weeks ago I was exploring the possibility of switching careers and becoming a cattle rancher. Now here I was face to face with a 1,500 lb. steer. I just had to know more.

The herd of thirty longhorns had been transported to Allen from northwest Oklahoma that afternoon. They were in town to promote the Tom Thumb Texas Stampede which comes to the Allen Event Center on November 11-13.

After a good night’s rest, the longhorns would be driven north through the park into the Village of Allen ending at the Allen Event Center. Considering the alternative, it would be fair to say that the longhorns had a pretty good deal going on.

The longhorns came from the Chain Ranch in Woodward, OK and according to Livestock Weekly Magazine, many of them were spared from a trip to the slaughterhouse.

The ranch owner Wes Sanders picked up 44 steers at an auction and thought he could use them to promote a local rodeo. He outbid a local packing house for every one of them and brought them back to his ranch. Several days later he drove the herd 10 miles into Woodward and got statewide news coverage. That was in 1997. Today the Chain Ranch loans longhorn herds of all sizes (and their cowboys) to movie companies and communities for promotional cattle drives across the southwest.

“Our purpose in holding the cattle drive was to celebrate the Texas Stampede’s move to Allen,” explains Scott Farace, the Stampede’s vice president for business development. “It’s also about bringing a bit of Texas history back to the area. These are real longhorns and real cowboys and I think people enjoy that experience.”

Logistics are certainly an important part of driving a cattle herd through a city, according to Randy Lewallyn, director of operations.

“It looks harder than it is because longhorns are basically docile creatures. They are used to the noise and sounds of parade routes and the steers usually just need a nudge from the cowboys or the sound of whip to stay in line.”

The cattle drive, of course, is only the appetizer for the upcoming Texas Stampede. The main event will include bareback, saddle bronc riding, calf roping, barrel racing and bull riding.
Eric Swenson, a professional bareback bronc rider who recently placed 20th in world competition, compares the rodeo circuit to NASCAR.

“The professionals travel across the country during the rodeo season gaining points as they go. The season ends with the National Finals Rodeo (NFR) in Las Vegas each December.”
Attending a rodeo is so different than watching one on television, added Swenson. “It’s the sounds and the excitement of the crowd that can’t be experienced any other way.”

Allen has certainly opened its doors to the Texas Stampede, says John Wroten, executive director of the Stampede.

“We’ve been overwhelmed with the support from the city and the volunteers which means it will be a great event here in Allen.”

“The move to a smaller venue will actually help the Stampede,” added Wroten. Our costs compared to the American Airlines Center are much less and we have more flexibility to expand the event. For example, the western heritage festival on November 11-13 is a new addition to the Stampede.”
The free western heritage event will include a petting zoo, pony rides, goat roping and a western marketplace.

In addition to the festival and rodeo, the Stampede will host country stars Dierks Bentley on November 12 and Montgomery Gentry on November 13.
Profits from the Texas Stampede benefit charities in North Texas, particularly Children’s Medical Center.

For more information about the weekend events visit www.texasstampede.org or call the Allen Event Center.

In the meantime, dust off those boots and get ready to party western style till the cows (make that longhorns) come home.

Beware The Crab Apples on Halloween

Halloween isn’t what it used to be. If it weren’t for the candy aisle at the grocery store and the costume stores that pop up overnight, I am not sure I’d notice the holiday at all.

It’s a holiday for little kids and once they grow up, it’s just hard as a parent to get enthusiastic about it. That probably explains why the house lights in my neighborhood are mostly dark on Halloween each year.

I knew it was fading from importance as we put out less and less decorations each year. We started many years ago with a house full of orange and black knick knacks and spooky silhouettes in the window. Now I dust off the fake front porch pumpkin and I’m done!

Halloween is this country’s second most popular holiday but has become a complicated one for parents. In “the old days” we ran home from school, grabbed a costume and something quick to eat before heading out for the night – literally.

As soon as the sun dipped, we were off knocking on doors and might cover a few miles before the 10 p.m. curfew. The only time we checked in was to drop off full bags of candy.

Today’s Halloween is no longer carefree. Parents just can’t let their kids roam outside of the neighborhood and they are suspicious of any candy that comes from strangers.

Maybe it’s time for a moratorium on Halloween but that sounds like an adult talking. Kids would not share that opinion.

Halloween has always been a weird but wonderful holiday for them. They get to beg from strangers, eat gross amounts of candy and stay out late. Halloween also differs from other holidays because it often falls on a school day. Is there a longer school day for kids or teachers than October 31st?
Our only advantage in Catholic school was that November 1st was All Saints Day – a school holiday that conveniently followed Halloween. Of course the two days are linked in history.

The holiday’s origins actually go back 2,000 years to Celtic harvest festivals and superstitions. They celebrated Samhain (sow-in) on the night of October 31 when ghosts of the dead were believed to return to earth causing trouble. Romans added their own twist to the holiday and Christians established a holy day called All Saints Day or All-Hallows Day on November 1. All-Hallows Eve gradually became Halloween according to legend.

We never dwelled on the historical significance of Halloween. We were too busy choosing a costume that would show our own individuality without exposing us to ridicule by older neighborhood kids.

The big kids were the scary part of Halloween in the city. They wore little or no costume, roamed in packs and hustled smaller kids for candy. Occasionally they would leap from behind trees and throw rotten crab apples or eggs at the weak ones.

As a ten year-old, being bullied by fourteen year-olds was bad but being seen with your parents on Halloween was worse.

Halloween was a giant but spooky step into the adult world where the rewards were sweet and the dangers could be – a little messy.

Mourning The Component Stereo System

There was a time when a wall of stereo equipment was enough to impress most people. Names like Altec Lansing and Kenwood inspired envy among friends and one’s status could be measured by the weight of their speakers.

Times have changed of course. My wall of sound now consists of two small Bose desktop speakers and a woofer at my feet. Two heavy stereo speakers serve as sturdy end tables in my office and the component stereo system sleeps inside my television cabinet hoping cassettes will make a surprising comeback.

I have come to the sad realization that my stereo system is no longer valuable or impressive. In fact, it has almost no value at all. I cruised Craigslist and found several folks who were trying to unload their stereos for prices they probably would never see. My favorite listing stated “stackable JVC receiver with am/fm radio, Pioneer 6-cd changer, JVC dual cassette player and equalizer plus two large speakers – paid over $2000 eight years ago but will take a loss.”

My IPOD holds more music, sounds better with headphones and fits in my pocket for $300. I think he will be taking a big loss.

I came face to face with stereo reality last week at Best Buy. I wanted to replace a broken CD player for one of our elementary schools. First the salesman tried to sell me a home theater receiver. Then he pitched the new Blue-Ray players.

“I just want an inexpensive CD player to hook up to a stereo,” I explained. He looked at me blankly and I realized that the store no longer carries stereo components. Even the CD music had been moved to the back of the store and replaced by video games.

Strange as it may seem, they did have a turntable at the store but it was made to convert scratchy records into digital files.

The big speakers were meant to impress but it was the turntable that showed folks how serious a person was about music listening. A stacking turntable was considered low class. The showoff turntables were fully manual and heavy so they wouldn’t vibrate when your neighbor cranked up his mega-stereo. Cool turntables also had lights and gadgets that allowed the owner to carefully adjust the speed but very few people ever did.

My favorite stereo component was a graphic equalizer. It had lots of lights and announced to everyone that I was a very serious audiophile. A better description was probably audiodork but aren’t we always the last to see that?

If there is one thing I miss about my stereo system, it’s the pleasure of opening a new album and just listening to it while I read the liner notes. There would be listening parties in our college dorm rooms when someone bought a new album release. Now kids download the album and share it within 5 minutes.

Like an old set of golf clubs or that Yashica SLR in the closet, home stereos are too good to throw out but worthless to anyone else. That explains why garages have amazing sound systems. The stereo was headed for the trash but didn’t quite make it that far. Instead it provides a soundtrack for weekend projects in the workshop.

My favorite Craigslist posting summed it up very well – “amazing Kenwood stereo system, wife says it must be sold, will trade for tools.”

Searching For A Home On The Range

Shortly before we moved from Indiana to Texas, I bought a pair of cowboy boots. It just seemed like a good way to celebrate a new job and a big move to the Lone Star State.

Life in the suburbs hasn’t offered many opportunities to get my boots broken in. We took some dance lessons and I dusted them up at the animal barn a few times but I couldn’t convince a Texan that I had actually worked in those boots. Don’t get me started with the cowboy hat in my closet.
That’s why I have decided to start a cattle ranch. It’s time I did something Texan and what’s more Texan than being a cattle rancher?

I began with a website called ehow.com and an article appropriately titled “How To Start A Cattle Ranch.” Looking more like a recipe index, the page listed ten items I would need to start my ranch: lasso, chaps, ten gallon hat, cowboy boots, cattle, land, fencing, fence posts, a cattle brand and a horse.

I already had the boots and hat so it was time to search for land. Collin County acreage is out of my price range so I have chosen the 100 acre Bar S Ranch in Thalia, Texas just south of Vernon. I am confident that I can pay off the $180,000 after my first cattle drive.

Step two instructed me to purchase a herd of cattle at the auction. I needed just a bit more information so I paid a visit to Kenneth Bolin, the only person I know who owns cattle. His 42 acre farm borders Luther and Anna Mae Bolin Elementary School (named after his parents) and his cattle can often be seen grazing near the school property.

Mr. Bolin recommended I start with 30 cows and one bull. My idea to add a few more bulls to the herd would bring me nothing but trouble, he said. Speaking of trouble, he also suggested I stay away from horns as in longhorns. Black Angus is a good breed and won’t eat you off the land like some others, he offered. Herefords and Brahmas are also good breeds for this area.

Search for the cost of cattle online and you will need an A&M extension course to understand it. There are too many variables to explain so let’s say 30 heifers will cost me $500 each. From what I’ve read, don’t look for bargains when buying your bull. I found one for $1000 and the ad says he’s quite popular with the ladies.

Keeping them healthy and keeping them fed is the key to running a good cattle operation, according to Bolin. Unfortunately good weather and some good luck are also needed if you plan to make any money at ranching.

“You shouldn’t let the grass in any one pasture get below 4” so that it has enough size to capture moisture and grow back,” explained Bolin. “If we get a drought and the grass turns brown, you will need to supplement with hay.”

Hay is a big expense on a ranch. A load of hay to feed 30 head of cattle might cost $6000. There are cheaper options but cheap hay doesn’t lead to healthy animals. Hay prices also go up when availability is low.

It wasn’t the cost of hay that eventually scared me out of my cattle ranching dream – it was the medical discussion. Aside from being experts on the calf birthing process, cattle ranchers need to spot behavior that might signal serious problems like bloat. There are over 100 different cattle diseases listed at cattlesite.com and some don’t sound real pretty.

I guess I’ll have to wait a little longer to break in those boots although there was a sheep ranch for sale in Quanah that looked like a real bargain.

A Horse Is a Horse Of Course Of Course

The boom in DVD reissues of old television series has brought renewed attention to many classic shows. I can hardly walk by the long row of DVD sets at Sams Club without being tempted by Season 4 of Bewitched or The Complete F-Troop box set.

The price is usually enough to scare me away but I did recently rent the first season of Leave It To Beaver online. Thirty-nine shows in glorious black and white arrived at my door and I popped disc one onto the TV screen. The whimsical theme music came on and there was Hugh Beaumont, Barbara Billingsley, Tony Dow and of course Jerry Mathers – “the Beav.”

I don’t know whether I was more intimidated by the remaining 35 episodes or disappointed by my family’s lack of enthusiasm for nostalgia. Regardless, I stopped watching after the 4th show and dropped Beaver and Lumpy and Eddie back in the mailbox.

Nostalgia is funny like that. You taste it and you want it, but after a good dose of it, you’ve had your fill. In Beaver’s case, I had heard that great opening on a TV theme song collection and it reminded me how much I enjoyed the show as a kid. I could have stopped there.

TV theme songs are a unique piece of our classic television history. Even casual viewers of old time television could sing the opening to Mr. Ed and only four musical notes are needed to make you snap your fingers to The Addams Family theme.

I hated the show but I knew how they became The Brady Bunch. I still remember the story of the “poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed,” and I know why Oliver Wendell Douglas chose Hooterville over New York City. It was because the shows had great theme songs.

Run down the list of most popular classic TV shows and I would guess you could sing almost every one of the theme songs. Go ahead and try to sing the openers to The Patty Duke Show or Petticoat Junction or Superman. How about singing the themes to some classic cartoons like The Flinstones or The Jetsons or Yogi Bear? I once translated and recited the theme to George of the Jungle in Latin for a high school project but only my teacher and Rocco Malanga, the really smart kid, got the joke.

The best classic theme songs, in my opinion, have no words. Who needs words to Bonanza or My Three Sons or Andy Griffith? I rarely stayed up to watch them as a child but the Alfred Hitchcock, Perry Mason and Tonight Show themes were as much a part of my bedtime routine as bubble baths.

There is another category of theme songs that includes great songs and mediocre (maybe lousy) shows. My Mother The Car and Flipper could head that category but you may have your own nominees.

Choosing one classic TV theme song that ranks above all the others is challenging but not impossible. My vote for the most recognizable song would be the theme to Gilligan’s Island. My choice for a tune that best fits the TV series would be Bonanza. The most annoying theme would be Woody Woodpecker and the most forgotten theme would be Car 54 Where Are You? The most fun award goes to The Addams Family and the corniest award goes to Batman.

My top award goes to a song called “You’re My Greatest Love,” composed by bandleader Jackie Gleason. It is better known to us as the theme from The Honeymooners.

As the summer drags on and reruns rule the network channels, flip over to TVLand and enjoy some of these classic TV gems. Just don’t let your kids catch you singing the theme to Superchicken.

Dad's College Advice

Pregnancy ranks first but I would guess that heading off to college is number two for unsolicited advice. There are books, magazines, websites, blogs and videos all devoted to helping college freshman adjust.

As I mentioned last week, my son shipped off to college on August 21. He got his share of advice as the day drew near but I still worried that I had not completely prepared him for college life.
Did I remind him about not leaving 8-tracks on the dashboard? Would he remember to use the bottle of Hai Karate each morning? You can imagine my stress.

My solution was to offer college advice that worked for me and certainly would help him at Texas Tech this fall. As a public service to other college freshman and their parents, I am reprinting the list below. I hope it helps.

1. You will be sharing a phone with at least three others so be sure to write down all of your calls.
2. Always reverse the charges when calling your parents.
3. Call your girlfriend after 11 p.m. on Sunday nights for the best rate.
4. Avoid embarrassment by turning all of your Carpenters and Abba records backwards so your friends don’t spot them.
5. Leave James Taylor and Cat Stevens records around your dorm room when girls visit. They like sensitive stuff like that.
6. Playing Dark Side of the Moon at 45 rpm will pick up any dorm party.
7. Milk crates make excellent record racks and coffee tables.
8. Make sure your bell bottoms are properly frayed before leaving for college. Cigarette ashes rubbed into the legs also give them a weathered look.
9. Bring extra batteries for your transistor radio.
10. Aluminum foil balls on the rabbit ears will expand your television reception.
11. Never buy a used Chevy Vega – even if it looks like a really good deal.
12. The aluminum block of a Chevy Vega engine can be used to expand your television reception once it cracks.
13. It is better to weigh down your turntable arm with dimes instead of quarters to get a clearer sound.
14. Never stack more than three albums or they will start to slide.
15. Electrical tape is expensive. Masking tape makes a good substitute on stereo cables.
16. Use the Herbal Essence Shampoo I gave you – girls dig it.
17. Leave the galoshes home. Bring Totes instead.
18. Pumas…not Adidas
19. Keep your pea coat dry – it smells when it gets wet
20. When attending campus demonstrations, carry a dime to make a phone call if you get arrested.
21. You might rethink the Nixon/Agnew sticker on your bumper.
22. Platform shoes are for high school proms, not college. Leave them home. Earth shoes are a much more practical solution.
23. A summer job paying $1.75 an hour should be enough to pay for two semesters of college.
24. Make sure you gas up on your odd or even day before driving back to college. Arrive early at the gas station to avoid long lines.
25. Beer cans make lousy decorations no matter what your friends say.
26. Never refer to a policeman as a pig at a traffic stop. They prefer the term fuzz.
27. Remember – there is more to life than Pong. Don’t let the video game disrupt your studies.