A Horse Is a Horse Of Course Of Course

The boom in DVD reissues of old television series has brought renewed attention to many classic shows. I can hardly walk by the long row of DVD sets at Sams Club without being tempted by Season 4 of Bewitched or The Complete F-Troop box set.

The price is usually enough to scare me away but I did recently rent the first season of Leave It To Beaver online. Thirty-nine shows in glorious black and white arrived at my door and I popped disc one onto the TV screen. The whimsical theme music came on and there was Hugh Beaumont, Barbara Billingsley, Tony Dow and of course Jerry Mathers – “the Beav.”

I don’t know whether I was more intimidated by the remaining 35 episodes or disappointed by my family’s lack of enthusiasm for nostalgia. Regardless, I stopped watching after the 4th show and dropped Beaver and Lumpy and Eddie back in the mailbox.

Nostalgia is funny like that. You taste it and you want it, but after a good dose of it, you’ve had your fill. In Beaver’s case, I had heard that great opening on a TV theme song collection and it reminded me how much I enjoyed the show as a kid. I could have stopped there.

TV theme songs are a unique piece of our classic television history. Even casual viewers of old time television could sing the opening to Mr. Ed and only four musical notes are needed to make you snap your fingers to The Addams Family theme.

I hated the show but I knew how they became The Brady Bunch. I still remember the story of the “poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed,” and I know why Oliver Wendell Douglas chose Hooterville over New York City. It was because the shows had great theme songs.

Run down the list of most popular classic TV shows and I would guess you could sing almost every one of the theme songs. Go ahead and try to sing the openers to The Patty Duke Show or Petticoat Junction or Superman. How about singing the themes to some classic cartoons like The Flinstones or The Jetsons or Yogi Bear? I once translated and recited the theme to George of the Jungle in Latin for a high school project but only my teacher and Rocco Malanga, the really smart kid, got the joke.

The best classic theme songs, in my opinion, have no words. Who needs words to Bonanza or My Three Sons or Andy Griffith? I rarely stayed up to watch them as a child but the Alfred Hitchcock, Perry Mason and Tonight Show themes were as much a part of my bedtime routine as bubble baths.

There is another category of theme songs that includes great songs and mediocre (maybe lousy) shows. My Mother The Car and Flipper could head that category but you may have your own nominees.

Choosing one classic TV theme song that ranks above all the others is challenging but not impossible. My vote for the most recognizable song would be the theme to Gilligan’s Island. My choice for a tune that best fits the TV series would be Bonanza. The most annoying theme would be Woody Woodpecker and the most forgotten theme would be Car 54 Where Are You? The most fun award goes to The Addams Family and the corniest award goes to Batman.

My top award goes to a song called “You’re My Greatest Love,” composed by bandleader Jackie Gleason. It is better known to us as the theme from The Honeymooners.

As the summer drags on and reruns rule the network channels, flip over to TVLand and enjoy some of these classic TV gems. Just don’t let your kids catch you singing the theme to Superchicken.